I want to share with you about my story, as you may find resonance with it in your own journey. I’ve been discovering how we are all connected, walking each other home to our truest selves, step by step, experience by experience.

For most of my life, I hid behind masks, not speaking up, people-pleasing, and numbing out with substances, relationships, productivity, fixing myself, food, dissociation and more— to avoid my unconscious fear of being rejected and alone. I hid my true essence, consistently adapting to be someone I was not. Often I found myself frozen, saying no to most of the real desires that arose in me to create and connect. This all led me to the experience of feeling lost and empty inside, again and again.

Finally, when I got to the point that I did not know who I was or if I existed anymore, some part of me knew it was time to break the cycle once and for all. I was done with quick fixes and my part-time, solo healing journey. It was time to embark on a journey to truly uncover and unfold my Being, full time, in connection with community.

As I now walk this path, I find I know less and less about who I am or should be, and enter more deeply into the unknown of discovering how to really live as I am, in every here and now. This has initiated me into radically building my wholeness and self worth from the inside. And wow! is this journey ALIVE, WILD, LOVING, INSPIRED, CHALLENGING, and SOULFUL.

The school of life has so far taught me a lot, from:

• following the linear life plan of going to school at Colgate University, then having a professional career in New York City, then a life partner, house, car, and pet…and then giving it all up and starting over

• changing jobs, industries (from the visual arts to real estate and architecture to technology to healing and transformational arts), cities, and haircuts many times

• romantically relating with different partners, sexes, agreements, and depths

• exploring various therapies for anxiety, depression, addiction, self-abandonment, and codependency

• leading teams and founding companies in my professional work life

• retiring from “working” and entering into a life of practice and passionate service

• traveling around the world alone and with other humans, immersing myself in cultures different from what I grew up in, such as the grand melting pot of the threads of arts and spirituality across northern India, the Wayúu indigenous people living in the beautiful yet harshly elemental conditions of La Guajira, Colombia, the ecovillages woven into the jungles of Brazil, the Shibipo plant medicine lineage in Amazonian Peru, the clash of modern western spirituality and Mayan tradition throughout Guatemala, the creative and conscious sexuality community in Berlin, and more

• participating in authentic adulthood initiations and practitioner trainings in transformational and healing modalities (see them listed to the side / below)

• experientially researching living in community

• working with sacred plant medicines

• expanding to a fuller expression of my sexuality

• leaving everything behind to live out of a backpack twice (currently living out time #2 some years later)

• holding space for hundreds of people for their emotional, energetic, physical, mental, and spiritual healing and evolution

All of these lived experiences have supported me to build a conscious relationship with fear, which is an ongoing practice.

Fear is not a design error. It exists for a purpose.

Instead of fear being something to be avoided, I’ve learned to use fear as my compass. It points me exactly where I need to go next.

Moving in this way allows me to dance inside the fires of transformation, in an ongoing process of unlearning, dying, rebirthing, and experimenting with the new life I feed myself with the ashes created through these cycles.

Through this I’ve trained to cut myself, others, and organizations open with a gentle strength to ignite healing and transformational processes.

With a unique combination of precision and spaciousness, I hold space for people and projects to enter into powerful inner excavations where they navigate below the surface to that which most wants to be expressed.

Through being with the full collection of parts that make up the whole, we discover that thing behind the thing; the essence that wants to be experienced that has been blocked by years of unconscious fears, numbed feelings, unspoken words, or abandoned desires.

I am in awe of and grateful for my personal journey of healing and transformation, and my vast and varied life, organizational and leadership experience. This has fostered in me a deep love for holding space for people and organizations to transition into more alive, aligned, and authentic expressions of their true nature.

And this isn’t just about me or you. Living your true nature is about life on this planet. Life on this planet is ALIVE! Choosing to be alive is about you, your relations and projects realizing their fullest potential, which in turn supports life-affirming, regenerative, harmonious consequences for humanity and for this planet, our home — Earth.

You in?